Watching Sporting Events on TV^©

When I watch a sporting event on TV, I am interested in seeing the athletes play the sport. I want to see the athletes demonstrate their skills. I am not interested in spending my time learning about an athlete’s bad home life, the results of him making bad decisions, how he spends time tutoring first graders to tie their shoes or more important how to find their shoes.

I have not worked as an interviewer of athletes so I do not know the challenges the interviewer face. I do know the interviewers often ask dumb questions and get as dumb answers from the athletes and coaches. I always hope the interviewer has their questions made for them by other people. I do know professional athletes are paid for their skills in the sport and not their ability to put together three sentences that are understandable and contain the phrase, you know, less than four times. I have coached youth, women, and men’s sport teams. I have heard smarter explanations of what happened in a game that was made by volunteer ball players.

During sporting events on TV, I watch the event and then often have to listen to experts tell me what I saw. Unless I spent lots of time in my bathroom or kitchen during the playing of the game, I know what I saw and what happened. I would like to watch a sport game and not have an expert tell me what I just saw, why the losing team is behind at half time, and what the team has to do to win. I often take care of this foolishness by changing channels or doing things like visiting the bathroom or kitchen. I do not understand why companies spend money for the experts to talk that causes me to change channels.

I like to watch the Super Bowl while I am awake, because the Anheuser Busch Brewery‘s commercials are often entertaining. This is not a promotion for Anheuser Busch Brewery, because I am a teetotal drinker. Often the football game does not live up to the entertainment level of many of the commercials. I think the entertainment levels of the commercials are dropping in quality. I find that I often take a nap during the game and half-time.

The half-time and pre game entertainment activities cost lots of money. I wish the technical people could get their hands on more of the money so they can purchase better equipment so the celebrity singer can be understood. I hope the high cost of the celebrities does not cause the budget for the sound equipment to be cut.

What would be a crowd pleasing activity for a college football game half-time?

            Donkey football game between the teams’ cheerleaders.

            Two local churches’ choirs have a pie throwing contest. The large choir members will not

                        be permitted to eat pie during the contest.

            Water balloon throwing contest between the President and vice presidents of each college.

            Teams’ mascots have a Gatorade barrel dumping contest with six fans filling in for the

                        teams’ coach. Points will be awarded for style, speed, and tumbling skills.

            The colleges’ marching bands will show their skills as they compete during the half-time

                        for a $500.00 dollar prize payable immediately in concession stand coupons. The

                        college marching bands could be replaced by local elementary schools’ concert

                        band.

What would be a crowd pleasing activity at the professional football game half-time?

            The two teams’ cheerleaders will play fifteen minutes of flag football with an announcer

                        providing play by play comments. To get the cheerleaders to take the game

                        seriously, the winning team will get a TV show audition.

            Figure eight demolition go-cart race. 

            Local taverns provide teams that will participate in a pass and catch contest where a full

                        beer cup with attached lid will be passed between team members. Each tavern

                        will play for a specific section of the seats. The fans in the winning tavern’s

                        section will receive a free cup of beer.

            An episode of COPS TV show with a five minute foot chase scene will be filmed with

                        prop buildings on the football field during half-time.

Remember the TV sport programs are put on TV because they make money for the network. Each TV station that carries the sport programs do so because the programs attract viewers and sell commercial spots. If you are not going to watch a sports program, be sure to notify the TV network, the organizers of the sports program, and sponsor of the product/service in the commercial.

The ideal TV room has a refrigerator, small oven, microwave oven, serving bar, and attached restroom with a one-way mirror for the wall facing the TV room. Personal business can be successfully achieved while not missing a single play.

Dale “The Saint” Lee

A former resident of Pot Neck, Tennessee

Date last modified, September 10, 2010

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