Getting to Know People at a Church^©

Attending a church worship service on Sunday morning is a good reason to wear your best go to work clothes. If you are more of a casual type dresser, you can attend a contemporary worship service. Some of the churches contemporary worship services allow you to have something with you to drink during a service. Wine is reserved for communion. If you decide to have your own communion service, you can bring a wine bottle. Do not wrap it in a brown bag when you are drinking it, because the brown bag may cause a flashback for a reformed wino. The only things I have seen people eating during the worship services is individually wrapped candy. Sometimes the sound of candy being unwrapped can be distracting to people that are not dozing during the service.

When you get dressed up to go out to a nice restaurant, you are expected to leave a tip. At a church, you can leave without a tip. Of course the pastor will appreciate you leaving a tip of folded money in the collection plate. Even if you do not leave a tip, you are invited to visit again with no strings attached.

At church you get to be around people that are dressed up, look nice, act nice and often smell nice. The “act nice” attitude can be the church members trying to be an actor although some truly are being nice because they are nice.

A Sunday evening service, if the church has one, is casual and laid back. There will not be many attending the service so if you do not feel comfortable in a large group, this service is for you.

How do you get to know the people you meet at a church? Typically, you have to put forth effort when in theory they are supposed to try to get to know you. You will need to spend time with some of the people to get to know them. Ideally you could hope to get to know some people while at the church activities. If possible, do not be in a hurry to leave the church building after a service. If you work at it, you may find a church member that is not in a hurry. Ask them a question. This will get them to talking and make them think they are important.

You will have to find a way to spend time with them away from the church building. You can invite people over to your home for light refreshments and chit chatting. You will need to have a backup plan in case the chit chatting becomes boring.

After you get to know a few people, you will be able to greet them by name when you see them at a church activity. It will be like spending time with your friends. To get to know more people at the church, invite several more people to your home for more chit chatting. Don’t be concerned. You may find chit chatting to be fun. If you invite some social duds to your home, make the best of the situation and look forward to the next time church members will visit your home. Inviting church members to your home will enable you to learn how friendly and nice some of the church members are.

Your actions of inviting people to your home may even be an example to church members about how they are supposed to get to meet and get to know visitors and new church members. Do not let it get you down if the church members are not being overly friendly to you until they get to know you.

After a few weeks of attending the church and inviting them to your home, you will get to know a bunch of church members. Soon they will seem like your family.

Dale Lee

A former resident of Pot Neck, Tennessee

Date last updated, September 7, 2010

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