Talking to a Visitor (Are you as suspicious of a visitor as a bank loan officer is of a person applying for a loan.)
Your Attitude Influences How You Talk to a Visitor (Treat the visitor with honor and not according to how you are feeling.)
Starting a Conversation with a Visitor (Seems like people like to be first so why not be first and start the conversation.)
Questions You Can Ask in a Conversation (Planning potential questions puts you in control of the conversation.)
Conversation Dos and Don’ts (These are suggestions and not the law as if your Grandmother was telling you what to do.)
Exercises to Help You Prepare Yourself to Talk to a Guest (Have you ever known people that like to exercise. Exercise does pay off in the long run. Quit complaining and do it.)
It is OK to Talk to a Church Member
Go To Sunday School and Visitors Page
|
Talking to a Visitor |
Why do church members and Sunday School members find it difficult to talk to a visitor? Talking to a visitor can be an enjoyable experience. When you meet a visitor at church, a feeling of being proud should be felt that the stranger has decided to visit your church. The fact that the visitor is at your church can be an indication that he is looking for something. He is going to be receptive to you being “friendly.” It is possible that the visitor will become your friend.
The stranger may seem shy or quiet which may just mean that he is unsure of what he is doing. It can be an uncomfortable time for a person to attend a church where he may not know anyone and is not sure what is going to happen. Greeting him with a smile can go a long way to helping him relax and feel comfortable.
|
Your Attitude Influences How You Talk to a Visitor |
How you relate to a visitor can depend on your attitude. Your attitude can be influenced by what happened to you on the way to the church, how you are feeling, how the kids were behaving, your attitude toward your church and Sunday School class, etc. You may have a reason to be grumpy, but the stranger will not know that. He will think you are unfriendly.
The way to get around the unfriendly attitude is to decide that you are going to be friendly. Yes, there may be times that you may have to fake being “friendly.” The desire to be friendly can over come the grumpy attitude and replace it with a friendly attitude. Try it and see what happens.
Another path around the unfriendly attitude is to look at each stranger as a guest of the church, and it is your job to make him feel that he is a guest. The guest’s attitude will dictate a specific manner in which you will behave. To treat the person as a guest is to show him that you consider it a special event that he is visiting the church. A question you need to answer is “What do I need to do to make sure he knows he is a guest?” A way to find the answer is to put yourself in his situation and decide what can be done to make you feel like a guest. This will make your approach to reaching out to the guest unique and personal.
|
Starting a Conversation with a Visitor |
Starting a conversation with the guest is easy. Smile while you walk up to the person, and say, “Hi.” Tell him your name, and ask him what is his name. This is not hard to do. The one thing to keep in mind is that the guest maybe as nervous are you. With a little planning and practice, the conversation can flow easily between you and the guest. The development of the conversation is easy if the guest is a talkative person, because he will help keep the conversation going. The guest that is reluctant to talk, shy, unsure, etc. requires you to put forth additional effort which is why the planning and practice are important.
A good way to help a person relax is to get him to talk about himself. Do not forget that you are to focus on the guest and not on yourself. Do not talk about yourself unless the guest asks you a question. When answering a question about yourself, make the answer short so you can focus on the guest. There will be opportunities in the future to share things about yourself with the guest when the guest visits again.
|
Questions You Can Ask in a Conversation |
Asking questions is a good way to start a conversation, find out data about a guest and keep a conversation flowing. You will have to determine which questions to ask according to the situation and the time available. The following are a few questions you can ask.
● What is your name?
● Where do you work?
● What kind of work do you do?
● Do you have any questions about the class or the church?
● Do you know how to get to the church’s auditorium?
● Why did you decide to visit the Sunday School class (church) today?
● Do you know anyone that attends the church?
● Are you looking for a church home?
● Where do you live?
● Are you married or single?
● What are the names of your children?
● How old are your children?
● What schools do they attend?
● Do you know where to go to locate your children?
● Will you sit with me (during the service or activity)?
● Have you met “name of a person that is standing near you?” Introduce the guest to the person?
● Look at the person’s clothes and decide if there is something about the color, pins, etc. that you can ask a question or make a comment. Do not ask a question just to ask a question. People will see through what you are doing.
● Think about other questions that you can ask.
|
Conversation Dos and Don’ts |
Do not talk for more than two or three minutes so other people will have the opportunity to talk with the visitor. If you think a person standing by you is waiting to talk to the guest, introduce the guest to the member. If possible, use something you have learned about the guest when you introduce the guest to other members.
Starting a conversation with a child or youth can be easy. You can ask them what grade they are in school, where they go to school, what is their favorite subject, what sports do they like, etc. If the parent is present, you taking the time to talk with their children will make a good impression on them.
Children, youth, and adults like it when they receive a compliment on what they are wearing. Make sure what you say is what you think.
If the person looks puzzled or lost, ask them if you can assist him.
Before you end the conversation with the guest, make sure someone has gotten or will get their name, address, e-mail address, and contact telephone number. If no one has secured the data, you can obtain the data and pass it to the appropriate people. Be sure to tell the guest that you are glad he visited the church/class, and tell him that you want him to visit again.
How you relate to a guest may be the one thing that can encourage the guest to return for another visit.
|
Exercises to Help You Prepare Yourself to Talk to a Guest Exercise does pay off in the long run. Quit complaining and do it.) |
Performing the following five exercises can help you improve how you relate to a guest.
I. Write down your answers to the following questions
What is your purpose for talking to a guest?
What do you want to be the result of you talking to a guest?
What are five possible situations you will be in when you meet the guest?
What are five possible statements that could be the first thing you say to the guest?
What are ten questions you can ask the guest to find out something about the guest?
What are ten things you can say to the guest at the end of class or church service?
What are questions you still have about greeting a guest?
What do you need to do to that will enable you to walk up to a guest and start talking?
Review the answers to the previous questions. The answers will help prepare you to be
more confident when talking to a guest.
Go to Exercise Directory
II. Practice greeting a guest by role playing
Ask a friend to help you practice greeting a guest.
Have your friend act like a guest that is an active talker and act like a reluctant guest.
Take each of the five possible situations you listed in the first exercise and practice
greeting a guest in each situation.
What have you learned about greeting a guest?
What are questions you still have about greeting a guest?
What do you need to do to walk up to a guest and start talking to him?
An intriguing way to practice greeting a guest is while you are waiting in line at a store is
to start a conversation with the person next to you in line. Talking to a person in
line with you is a good way to gain valuable experience in greeting a guest.
Go to Exercise Directory
Make yourself go up to guests in your Sunday School class or church and introduce
yourself to them.
After you have greeted several guests, review the answers you wrote to the questions in
the first exercise. What answers will you change?
Identify what is making you still hesitant to introduce yourself to a guest?
Write down what you think you need to do to overcome what is making you hesitant.
Do what you have written down.
Execute the old phrase, “Practice makes perfect.”
Go to Exercise Directory
IV. Greet church members you do not know or whose name you do not know
Introduce yourself to guests before or after a church worship service.
How do you find talking to a guest in a Sunday School class different from talking to a
guest at a church worship service?
After you have greeted several guests, review the answers you wrote to the questions in
the first exercise. Which answers have you changed?
Identify what makes you still hesitant to introduce yourself to a guest?
Write down what you think you need to do to overcome what is making you hesitant.
Do what you write down.
Do not forget the phrase, “Practice makes perfect.”
V. Evaluation after two months of greeting guests
How many new people are you able to say “Hi” to when you are at church that you now
know their names as the result of you greeting guests?
How many new friends do you have since you started introducing yourself to people you
did not know?
How many people have started attending your church to which you introduced yourself
while they were a guest?
How hard is it now for you to talk to a guest?
Now that you are good at talking to a guest, add talking to a church member you do not know to your welcoming activities. The church member will appreciate the attention as much as a guest. Why not think of the unknown church members as a guest?
(This includes the church members that show up at Easter and Christmas.)